Back from Hibernation (of sorts)

SO I took a couple of weeks off from talking about TTC. Needed a break but I am back. I have been driving everywhere. From NY to Pittsburgh to DC and back then to upstate NY and back again. It has a very busy two weeks and yet rather relaxing. My husband is out of town in a show so I am home alone. Lots of things I would like to work on but I don't have the urge to do it. Maybe in the next couple of weeks.

We are obviously on a break cycle (being that we should be in the same state at least). SO I haven't been obsessing over every little thing. Nice to take a break on that. I have also been visiting with a lot of friends that I haven't seen in months. My attempt at a social life again. That all changes in July when we try IVF again but til then I am living a normal life. I will finally have a WTF appointment next week. So we will nail down what the plan is.

I started taking CoQ-10 and Vit. B & C & E. Figured it can't hurt so we will see.

I also got a Wii for my birthday. It has been sitting in the box for a week. I just want the time to spend with my gadget and tomorrow is that time. So I will read all the directions and set it up tomorrow. I am very excited. It's the little things excite me lately.

33!

It's my birthday today. I don't know how to feel. I am grateful for many things I have in my life, friends, family, love. There are many things that I wish for. I am determined to make those things happen. This was a huge milestone for me having a child but I have decided to stop putting benchmarks on it all. If I have learned anything it is that this whole journey is unpredictable. So I will treat today as a blessing as with everyday with thier ups and downs and be grateful. I know I am to be a mommy. I truly feel that way. SO this year, I am going with my gut.

We are moving on...

We have decided that we will try again but not til late June/ early July. I am going to be a lot more involved in knowing what is going on with the cycle. This last one I just felt like everything came from left field. So I have already started my list of questions because I want to know all the options and why my doctor chooses what she does.

We have to take a month off and we are going to the financial counseling in the next couple of weeks and then we will set a start date.

Right now I just wish my period will start. I know it is coming it's just a little cruel it is taking so long. The waiting is making me crazy. My stomache was killing me last night so maybe it will come sometime soon.

Cinco de Mayo (yesterday)

Yes I did have a glass of wine yesterday. I feel like I earned it. Uggh but just 1 because hey I haven't had wine in a ridiculously long time. So needless to say not so put together.

It was a better day than Monday though. I went to my support group which always makes me feel a little better and then spent the evening stuffing invites for a friends wedding.

Taking it day by day.

Negative....

That was the answer. I kinda felt that way this morning and tried to prepare myself but it doesn't suck any less. I am very sad right now but I know it will get better. My birthday is next week and I think this was the one thing I was really hoping for this year. I am so grateful that my husband is so awesome and supportive. I know we will probably try again I just can't really think about that right now.

Beta Tomorrow......

I can't believe it is already here. I am trying to not really obsess too much but I am of course hoping for good news that my little trooper is hanging in there. I am glad the weekend went so quickly. I was at a friends bridal shower and it was a nice distraction. I enjoyed myself. I was a little tired though. I have a tendency to overdo it sometimes. So til tomorrow.....

I am so hoping for good news. Keeping my fingers and toes crosssed.

Better today. Strangely calm

I am 5dp6dt. My beta is on Monday. Strangely enough I have no desire to POAS. These past few weeks I think has taught me a little patience...or I am just wore out.

Today, I felt a lot better, I think it is because I spent some time with my friend yesterday at lunch and just distracted from it all. My car had a poopy couple of days and I had to leave it at the mechanic. I was really tired today. It was so nice outside that I felt a little guilty taking a nap before I went to perform tonight but it was so worth it.