Poopy day!

Today kinda sucked. Woke up today to lots of drilling and banging. They are replacing all the windows in my building which I guess is a good thing just really??....7 AM in the freaking morning? I have also been really grumpy so not enough sleep is not doing well. Then of course found out another friend is pregnant. I am happy for them but this is the first time in a long time I have felt really bitter. Then in my email a video of my little cousins beautiful 6 week old baby....ugggggh...they are everywhere...Maybe this is a good omen though...right?

Well at least the month of March has not been as crazy as the first two months in 2009. I felt a little better today just thinking starting tomorrow, it will be the month we make our sticky baby. I have been feeling a little impatient lately. This is Day 9 on the Lupron and, luckily, I have not had any side effects. But it seems like forever from this point.

Yesterday I talked to my sister who really wants me to go to a weekend family reunion next week. I really don't think I can go because of monitoring. I think she is starting to suspect something is up but I am sure she has no idea it is IVF. I really miss her and her kids which kills me though. In time I will tell.

Opting out...

So last Saturday, I went to one of my dear friends 2nd baby's first birthday. We started TTC at the same time and she is now one...but I digress. Her family is like my own but because of that I was asked no less than 5 times why I don't have a baby and,"What's wrong with you?", etc....well you get the picture. Of course I gave the usual well you know soon hopefully with a smile and quickly left the room. I know they don't want to be mean but its a little stab in my heart everytime.

So today is her son's birthday (he's 5) and the party is at Chucky Cheese. I know she really wants me to be there. As much as I would love to be in a place filled with kids screaming...I mean playing, and the fresh aroma of stinky feet, I have decided to opt out of this one.

I usually make it a point to go to all my friends and family "baby things" because I didn't want to feel bitter or anything but this is the second time I am opting out of something and it feels good. Self preservation I say. Next year this time, who knows, maybe I will be happy for yucky pizza.

Today I helped my friend Allison out today with her sweet little baby boy. She hurt her back and had to have surgeryto help the pain. Because of all the pain she has needed help for the past three months and I am so happy I have been able to help. Also it's good practice and believe it or not it actually keeps me distracted from obsessing about IVF.
Today is Day 4 on Lupron. I decided to do the needles myself it just is easier.

I have been really tired lately. It can be due to the fact of my TV addiction. I thought that having a DVR would free time up for me, which it did at first, but now I just tape everything and need to watch it before people spoil what is on. Pathetic I know. Have to watch Idol, Lost, America's Next Top Model. Thank goodness I watched 24 and Heros the night before.

I need to get on top of it though. I need to eat better and get more sleep! Especially now....
maybe tonight.

We are actors who met in college and have been married since October 2003 We started this journey almost three years ago, tried on our own for a year and a half and then sought help. We have already had 3 failed IUI's, changed doctors and now we have moved onto IVF.

I am so lucky to have a dear friend who is there to listen to me quabble on about this. It has been a true relief. I have not shared this with my family because I don't wan them to worry unnecessarily.

Today will be day 3 on Lupron. The first injection we were bumbling like clowns in a car but I think we are getting the hang of it. Still hate shooting needles into my stomache. So today I will try my thigh.

In other news, taking this week off from auditioning feeling a little craptastic today.